Severus Snape and the Plate of Cheese
by PianoAshes
Summary: Severus Snape finds himself in, what seems to be, a never ending, crazy nightmare. And the morel of this story is- don't eat cheese before bed!


**Severus Snape and the Plate of Cheese **

It was precisely 1:24 AM in the morning and all at Hogwarts was silent. The moon shone brightly through the castle windows, illuminating rooms- enchanting them with silvery moonlight. Everything was remarkably calm for a Monday night…

Mostly everyone was sleeping soundly, though there were some that almost never slept. But tonight even the famous, and rather adventurous, Harry Potter, who had spent his entire evening playing Wizard Chess with Ron Weasly, was fast asleep.

Harry was awoken abruptly by a strange shuffling sound that seemed to be coming from under his bed. His eyes flew open.

'Who's there?' Harry whispered, peering into the darkness. 'Hedwig? Is that you?' He said quietly, propping himself up with a pillow.

The strange shuffling continued- seeming to move about the room quite erratically.

Harry fumbled around in the dark, his fingertips searching the bedside table for his glasses.

'Ugh! Crookshanks? Is that you?' Harry croaked, wondering if maybe Crookshanks (Hermione Granger's cat) had snuck in before everyone had gone to bed.

The shuffling suddenly ceased at exactly the same time Harry found his glasses. He put them on, and realising that the shuffling had stopped. He froze.

For a moment the room was very silent. All Harry could hear was Neville Longbottom's muffled snores and an owl hooting softly in the night.

Just then, light poured into the room.

Harry looked around himself blindly, squinting as his eyes adjusted to the light. No one else seemed to stir and, from what he could tell so far, there was no sign of either Hedwig or Crookshanks, which seemed odd until-

'Snape?' Harry gasped when he saw Professor Snape, the Potions Master, standing at the foot of his bed glaring at him.

'So...' Professor Snape began, clearing his throat. 'I heard that Mister Malfoy saw your head in Hogsmeade, Potter…'

'Huh?' Harry blinked, rubbing his eyes furiously. 'This has to be a dream! I'll wake up in a minute!' He told himself.

'Now, what would your head be doing in Hogsmeade?' Snape went on to say. 'No part of your body is allowed in Hogsmeade, Potter!'

Harry looked at Snape for a moment, 'Not even my nose?' He asked quickly, although he was sure he'd had this conversation before, even if it was quite some time ago. But then, it was a dream, so what did it matter?

'NO.'

'But- but Professor Dumbledore said that he had given my left foot permission to be in Hogsmeade! Though my right foot still needs consent- which, admittedly, I don't have... sir'

'Don't - lie!' Snape retorted. 'GET TO YOUR DORMITORY THIS INSTANT!'

'But…I am in my dormitory...' Harry replied quietly.

'Detention!'

'What for?' Harry demanded.

Snape didn't reply and instead just jabbed a long finger at a goblet of pumpkin juice on Harry's bedside table.

'Huh?'

'GET TO BED! NOW!' Snape roared.

'I am in bed!' Harry grumbled.

'What are you doing up, anyway? IT'S VERY LATE, YOU KNOW!'

Harry was now starting to become quite irritated. Whether this was a dream or not, it was becoming extremely annoying. 'Well I was asleep before you came in here and woke me up for no reason what so ever!'

Snape seemed to ignore Harry completely at this point. 'I shall be reporting this to the Headmaster first thing in the morning, Potter!'

It was then that Harry twigged. He wasn't dreaming after all… 'You're sleepwalking again, aren't you?' He sighed. This had happened many times. Though, Snape usually targeted the Hufflepuffs and, occasionally, the Ravenclaws.

'Don't be ridiculous!' Snape snarled.

'Well'-

'I am NOT stuck in the past, Potter!' He spat.

'I never said'-

'Just shut up… James!'

'Not this again…' Harry groaned, remembering back to when something similar had happened before in Dumbledore's office months ago. 'I'm not James... I'm Harry.'

Snape said nothing and just stood there for a moment, completely unmoving, staring at the wall.

'Lunatic…' Harry mumbled to himself.

Just then Harry spotted something that appeared to be stuck to the bottom of Snape's shoe. 'Hey… what's that on your shoe, Professor?' He asked.

'It's nothing, Potter. Nothing at all,' Snape said smoothly.

'It looks to me like... toilet paper...' Harry sniggered. What was Professor Snape doing wandering around with toilet paper stuck to his shoe? 'He ought to brew some anti-sleepwalking potion or something, before he tarnishes his reputation,' Harry thought to himself.

Suddenly Snape was in Harry's face. 'For your information, Potter, wearing toilet paper on the bottom of your shoe is 'cool'!'

Harry moved away, but didn't say anything. He didn't realise that Snape even knew what the word 'cool' meant.

'No one's ever agreed, though' Snape sighed, turning to face the window with his hands behind his back. 'Your swine- I mean, your father… always used to laugh at me.'

'No wonder…' Harry smirked.

There was a deadly silence that fell upon the room. But then, all of a sudden, Snape burst into tears. 'I didn't eat the cream crackers, mum! I swear I didn't!' He collapsed onto the floor beside Harry's bed and began sobbing into Harry's pillow.

Harry stared at Snape wide-eyed. He didn't know it was possible for someone to get into such a state about something as ludicrous as this whilst sleeping. 'Uh… Professor Snape? ... Sir?'

Snape continued to sob relentlessly, until finally, after a few minutes, he raised his head to glare at Harry- his dark eyes all puffy and red.

Harry looked at his tear-stained pillow and shuddered. 'I'm NEVER touching that pillow ever again! I'll swap pillows with Ron in the morning… He'll never know,' he thought to himself stifling another smirk.

'So...' Snape sniffed. 'You're saying th-that sticking toilet paper to the bottom of your shoe _isn't_ cool?'

'Yes, I mean, No... Not cool at all… sir' Harry said trying ever so hard not to giggle.

'DETENTION!' Snape suddenly roared. 'Get to your dormitory now!'

Harry sighed. 'You are sleepwalking! It's obvious!'

Snape glared at Harry dangerously. 'I am NOT sleepwalking, Potter!' He yelled, finishing Harry's pumpkin juice for him and then slamming the goblet back down on the bedside table. Harry winced, wondering if it had left a mark. '100 points from Gryffindor!'

'Shh! You'll wake everyon'-

'400 points from Gryffindor! Now get to bed!'

Harry said nothing and calmly padded across the room.

'And just where do you think you're going, Potter?' Snape demanded. 'To the pub with Hagrid again, I'll bet!'

'To the pub with…' Harry shook his head. His Potions Master, it appeared, had indeed gone loopy. He knew that those potions would go to his head at some point or another. 'I'm going to get Professor Dumbledore' Harry said calmly. He would surely know what to do about this unlikely predicament.

'Like I believe that!' Snape snorted. 'I know exactly what you're up to, James! You can't make a fool out of me! You're trying to sneak out with my invisibility cloak!'

'_Your_ invisibility'-

'Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about, James!'

'UGH! I'm NOT James!' Harry cried, exasperated.

'GET TO BED!'

'UGH!'

….

It was a dull and rainy morning at Hogwarts, but this didn't stop Harry from being in a great mood.

'Morning, Harry' said Ron brightly, as his best friend breezed into the Great Hall for breakfast.

'Morning' Hermione mumbled at precisely the same time as Ron, nibbling on a bit of toast.

'Morning Ron! Morning Hermione!' Harry responded cheerfully, seating himself in between his two best friends. 'Lovely day isn't it!'

'Simply _divine_…' Ron said sarcastically, shovelling a spoonful of Cornflakes into his mouth.

'You're cheerful, this morning, Harry' Hermione noted, eying him cynically. 'What's up?'

'Yeah,' Ron said with his mouth full. 'Since when have you been brewing Happy Potion?'

'Oh I don't need Happy Potion,' Harry grinned.

'Um... Harry?' Hermione said frowning. 'What is that on your shoe?'

'Eh?'

'It looks like…' Hermione lowered her voice considerably, so as to make it as discreet as possible- therefore avoiding embarrassment. '…toilet paper.'

'Oh, it is. You like it?' Harry asked, resting his foot on the breakfast table. 'I came up with the idea last night, like as a new fashion statement. I thought it looked "cool".'

'Wow!' Ron exclaimed. 'It makes you look… tough! And… like you just don't care and… and…'

'Stupid?' Hermione muttered.

'Cool?' Harry grinned, ignoring Hermione.

'VERY!' Ron enthused. 'But how do you'-

Just then, Harry got out his wand and said, very clearly, 'Loucarta Appari!' Ron glanced down at his foot and realised that he too had toilet paper stuck to the bottom of his shoe.

'WHOA!'

Hermione rolled her eyes.

Suddenly, everyone in the Great Hall had their wands out. They apparently, liked Harry's new, and rather unusual, fashion statement.

'Loucarta Appari!' A Hufflepuff boy named "Stewart Tinnmouse" shouted, pointing his wand at his right foot. At first nothing happened, but after a few tries Stewart gazed in wonder as a couple of clean, white sheets of toilet paper sprouted from the bottom of his shoe.

'Incredible!' Another Hufflepuff (called Sandra Fluffclowd) exclaimed, turning to Harry with shining eyes. 'How ever did you come up with this spell, Harry?'

Harry paused for a moment. 'I… um… Well, I don't know. It was just a random idea. I created the spell last night, of course!' He bluffed. 'I was up almost all night trying to conjure it!'

It wasn't long until almost everyone in the Great Hall had toilet paper attached to the bottom of their shoes.

'This is brilliant!' Ron beamed.

'I think it looks silly…' said Hermione flatly. But when no one was looking, she too got out her wand, pointed it at her left foot and said, just under her breath, 'Loucarta Appari!' A triumphant smile appeared on her face after successfully conjuring the spell. It wasn't so bad, she thought. It was better not being "cool" and people making fun of her.

Later that day, Harry, Hermione and Ron had double Potions. They weren't really looking forward to it, but Snape couldn't dampen anyone's mood for long today. The dungeons, for once, buzzed with life.

'What a beautiful day'… Snape muttered as he strode into the room, glancing briefly out the window at the dark clouds that loomed overhead.

'Weird…' Harry whispered.

'What?' Ron questioned.

'I didn't know Snape has a sense of humour.'

'Huh? …I don't get it…'

'Never mind…'

'Well…' Snape began, turning to face the class. 'A bright lot this morning aren't we? Don't worry… we'll soon fix that.'

'I'm sure he will,' Ron muttered.

'Ah, Weasly! 10 points from Gryffindor!' Snape sneered.

'What? Why?' Ron protested.

'Don't think I didn't hear your muttering!' He snarled. '10 more points from Gryffindor for being seemingly unable to keep your mouth shut.'

The dungeons fell deadly silent. The only ones looking smug were now the Slytherins. Harry's eyes narrowed as he glanced at Draco.

'Right… Now, today we will'-

Suddenly Snape's dark eyes were fixed solidly on something under Draco Malfoy's desk.

'Mister Malfoy…' Snape said, approaching Draco. 'Would you… care tell me… what it is that you have on the bottom of your shoe? I do not recall this being part of the Hogwarts uniform.'

The room was still deathly silent- but smiles were soon returning to students' faces.

Harry secretly smirked to himself. He couldn't believe it! For one thing, it was a known fact that Draco Malfoy would rather die than follow Harry. Just what had happened? And secondly, why did Snape care so much about a bit of toilet paper?

Draco began to turn slightly pink. 'Nothing, sir… It's nothing.' He said, trying to kick the piece of toilet paper off his shoe as discreetly as possible.

Ron sniggered. 'One of Harry's brilliant ideas!' He said just loud enough for Snape and Draco to hear. He knew he'd be in trouble, but it was worth it just to see the look on Malfoy's face.

Draco's face was now crimson. How was he going to explain this without looking like a complete prat?

'What?' Snape bellowed. 'Toilet paper on the shoe… Potter's new "fashion"…' He said icily as he strode up to Harry's desk.

Harry said nothing and just nodded, finding it hard not to smirk.

Snape's cold, black eyes burned with hatred when they met with Harry's. 'That… that was MY idea!' Snape roared.

'Your idea?' Harry could no longer suppress his laughter. A few other students joined in.

'How did you find out about this, Potter? Sneaking around again, no doubt!'

Harry shrugged, seeming completely unaffected. 'I dunno.'

Suddenly there was an unexpected, ear-splitting howl and Snape sprinted out the room sobbing violently.

For a moment no one said anything and everyone sat at their desks wide-eyed. Even the Slytherins didn't have anything to say on the matter. It was all so… shocking.

'Well…' Ron said eventually, apparently the only one who dared speak. 'I suppose now it's time to… PARTY!'

Almost everyone began cheering loudly, leaping up onto their desks and shooting magic about the place at random.

Albus Dumbledore was sitting comfortably in his office eating sherbet lemons when, all of a sudden, Professor Snape came bursting in.

'Severus?' Dumbldore said in surprise.

'Albus!' Snape puffed. 'It's Potter…'

'What is it?' Dumbledore asked, starting to worry.

'He… he… he stole my idea!' Snape cried. 'Made a fool out of me again!'

'Your idea?'

'Yes… well… It all began when I was merely fourteen' Snape began, managing to compose himself a little. 'No one ever liked me because… because… well I don't exactly know… You know how it was…'

'Mhmm…' Dumbledore mumbled vacantly.

'So anyway, I came up with this idea that I knew would be really good… Like a fashion statement, if you will. I knew it would indeed be the sort of thing that would catch on fast and people would simply adore it because of its simplicity and its recklessness and rebelliousness…' Snape said, beginning to get worked up again. 'So… I attached toilet paper to my shoe because, obviously, I knew how "cool" it would surely be and… and everyone in the entire school laughed at me. Of course, James was the one who initiated it! If it weren't for him and his… his followers then it would have easily caught on! And now James, I mean, Harry Potter... He… I...'

Dumbledore raised his eyes lazily. 'Hmm?' He mumbled. 'Oh, sorry, Sev, I'm afraid I wasn't listening. Could you perhaps repeat that?'

'TOILET PAPER ON THE SHOE IS MY IDEA, AL! And now EVERYONE thinks it's wonderful simply because they think Potter came up with it!'

'Ah, come now, Severus...' Dumbledore said calmly. 'Surely not EVERYONE...' And with that he made haste to hide his feet.

Snape stared at him suspiciously.

'Severus, you need to get back to the dungeons now,' Dumbledore told him, quickly changing the subject. 'Goodness knows what those students are up to right now. It is your responsibility to ensure their safety. They could, potentially, blow the whole school up.' He shook his head. 'You know what those apples are like!'

'B-but... What?'

'Crumbling flitter bites and swish rumpa-doodums, Sev!'

'Al I'-

'I wouldn't put it past those mistacious colo rasolums, you blig. Crayk susstendo and water lamps too, they're all at it!' Dumbledore said severely. 'I myself have been known to steal a rin or two in my day, spentindok,' he chortled.

Fawkes (Dumbledore's Phoenix), who was perched behind Dumbledore, suddenly belched loudly.

'Ah! Don't mind him! Does it all the time!'

'Albus…' Snape said quietly. 'Do you think'-

'None sense!' Dumbledore boomed. 'This time next year we'll have those wumber smyterst down rumbling like clockwork turkey crumbs in a matter of rilt semb seconds!'

'What?' Snape muttered.

'Severus, did you take your potion last night?' Dumbledore questioned.

'No, Headmaster, but I don't sleepwalk anymore,' Snape replied in a strange tone. 'It was just James that made me sleepwalk before… You know that!'

Snape's tone suddenly changed again. 'AND he put pears in my room to make me throw up... You know how much I hate them, Ally!' He cried.

'Now Sneverus Sape… Have you been sitting on a slice of that pizza again? I did warn you!'

'What?' Snape gasped. 'No I have not, Headmaster! I can't believe you would imply such a thing!'

'Well, I think you're imagining things again! You cripp'-

…..

Suddenly Snape woke up screaming at the top of his lungs. 'AGHHHHHHHH! I DIDN'T DO IT, ALBUS! IT WAS JAMES!'

'HUH? ...Snape?'

Snape looked up to see Harry Potter sitting up in bed, staring at him sleepily.

It was surprising that no one else in the room had stirred. Snape's screaming was enough to wake the dead!

'SNAPE!' Harry said angrily.

'What?' Snape snapped, curling himself back up on the end of Harry's bed, like a cat.

'UGH! GET OFF MY BED!' Harry shrieked, giving Snape a hard kick, sending him flying off the bed and landing in a heap on the floor with a loud thud.

'Ow! JAMES!'

'I AM NOT JAMES!' Harry yelled. 'How many times?'

Snape didn't reply this time and instead just curled up on the floor.

'Now, if you're not going to go away, and I can't get out the room- seeing as you've… sealed the door…' Harry's eyes narrowed. '…Then could you at least just... let me get some sleep!' Harry hissed.

Snape scowled at Harry. 'It's not my fault, Potter! If you didn't keep trying to paint my office door yellow then I wouldn't have to… hmm…' He grumbled. 'I do know how to fly a broomstick, you know!'

Harry was so exhausted that he'd fallen straight to sleep despite Snape's dull ramblings.

'I hope you're listening to me, James!' Snape grumbled after a few more minutes of groaning and rambling on about nonsense.

Harry, who had drifted to sleep, was silent.

'...JAMES?' Snape yelled, lobbing a book at Harry's head.

Harry woke with a start. 'HUH? Cedric, my love?' He mumbled; his arms outstretched for just a moment, just before coming around fully.

'POTTER!'

'Snape? …Oh Whaaat?' Harry whined.

Snape sat up and gave Harry a stern look. 'Stop… laughing… at… my… broom… JAMES!'

'UGH! I AM NOT JAMES!' Harry shrieked, flinging his empty goblet at Snape's head in exasperation and watching as it rebounded off his head and hit the wall.

Snape then started rambling on about pinecones and Pixies just under his breath. 'You should know that by now, James…' he muttered.

'It's Harry…' Harry hissed.

Suddenly Ron was sitting bolt upright in bed. 'HUH? Larry?' He groaned.

'Go back to sleep, Ron…' Harry murmured when Snape had stopped ranting.

'Ugh… Keep the noise down…' He moaned. 'I'm a very light sleeper, you know…'

'Right… sorry.'

'Stupid… spiders…'

Harry lay there for a good few minutes and the room had grown quiet… 'Maybe Snape's finally calmed down…' he thought.

'Snape?' He whispered. 'Sir?'

There was no reply…

'Phew…' Harry thought to himself, just before he began to drift...

'POTTER!' Snape barked suddenly.

Harry's eyes snapped open.

'TO YOUR DORMITORY! NOW!' With that he began whacking Harry over the head with a dictionary.

'Ughhhh…' Harry moaned- now so close to tears…

The next day Ron woke up with the sun on his face. 'Ah, what a lovely morning!' He thought to himself as he stretched himself out comfortably in bed.

'Morning, dear.'

Ron recognised the voice immediately and sat up, staring in disbelief at his Potions Master curled up at the end of his bed. 'Pro… Professor Snape?'

'Mum… Please… I didn't mean to!' Snape bawled, grabbing onto Ron's foot.

'AGHHHHHHH!' Ron leapt out of bed and screamed in Harry's ear. 'HARRY!'

Harry woke up with a start. 'Ron?' He croaked wearily.

'SNAPE!' Ron yelled and began running about the room crazily.

'Oh great...' Harry groaned. 'It wasn't a dream...'

Just then, the door opened and in walked Professor Mcgonagall. 'Boys, just what is all the commotion about?' She demanded. 'If you don't…'

'It's Professor Snape…' Harry said sleepily. 'He's just'-

'It's alright, Ron! You'll wake up in a minute!' Ron, who was curled up in the corner of the room gibbering, told himself in a shaky voice. 'You'll wake up and realise that this was all a bad dream…'

Professor Mcgonagall stared Ron and then at the Potions Master, who was now sprawled out on Ron's bed, nibbling on the end of Harry's broomstick. 'Oh… dear…' She sighed. 'Professor Snape?'

'He's been in here all night calling me James and acting weird,' Harry grumbled. 'I think he's been sleepwalking. I think he's still asleep now.'

Professor Mcgonagall nodded. 'Oh… Yes, this sometimes happens, Potter... But I can assure you that he won't be bothering you any longer.' With that she waved her wand and Snape disappeared.

Later that day Harry, Hermione and Ron were on their way to visit Hagrid.

'Why are we visiting Hagrid, again?' Hermione asked. 'I mean, of course it'll be lovely to see him, but… I thought there was a specific reason we were going... I can't remember what, though.'

'Because he's got alcoho'- Harry coughed. 'I mean... Well, because he's helping me with something really important' he said.

'Oh yeah,' Ron sneered. '_Very_ important!'

'Important?'

Harry, Ron and Hermione all turned to see Snape standing behind them, glaring at Harry fiercely.

'Professor Snape! …Sir…' Harry said. 'How… nice to see you…again.'

'Potter, just where do you think you're going?' Snape questioned.

Harry felt like telling him to shove off and that it was none of his business, but he knew that would only get him in more trouble. 'To Hagrid's' he said, quite plainly.

'I overheard them, Professor!'

Harry recognised the voice to be that of Draco Malfoy. He scowled as his rival appeared at Snape's side with a nasty smirk on his face.

'Hagrid's got alcohol and Harry and his friends thought they would all go and get drunk, Professor' Draco said.

'WHAT?' Snape roared. 'DETENTION! All of you!'

'That's not fair!' Hermione retorted. 'That's just what _he_ says! You have no evidence to back that up!'

'240 point from Gryffindor, Granger!'

'Why?' Harry demanded.

'Because, Potter… you didn't think to invite me!' Snape growled. 'You think that just because I'm a teacher I don't like a drink every now and then?'

Harry opened his mouth, then shut it again fast.

'But sir, you hate Hagrid...' said Draco quietly. 'And surely you don't care for muggle drink, sir.'

'Well I might!' Snape snapped. 'And yes, I despise Hagrid because… when I was fifteen I decided to try building a house of books… James copied me and Hagrid reprimanded _me_ for stealing James's idea when it was mine entirely!'

Draco looked at him. 'Then why'-

'POTTER!' Snape bellowed, suddenly realising that Harry, Ron and Hermione had snuck off whilst he had been distracted.

'OW! Sir,' Draco whined. 'You stepped on my foot!'

Suddenly, out of nowhere, James Potter appeared.

'J-James?' Snape whimpered, backing away fast.

'I've come to -hic- haunt you, Sevvy!' The ghostly figure of James rumbled cheerfully, gliding up to Snape. 'And… I've brought the –hic- alcohol!'

'AWESOME!'

Snape was suddenly awoken by a strange sound. He opened his eyes to find himself sitting in a comfortable red armchair in front of a fire.

'Where… am I?' Snape wondered, freezing momentarily. Everything was very quiet. The only sound that could be heard was that of the crackling fire in front of him.

Snape looked around himself, surveying the room carefully. He thought he recognised it, although very vaguely, but he had no idea exactly where he was.

The room was quite large and spacious with dark blue carpet and cream wallpaper. There were two large windows at the far end of the room, inviting a flood of pale moonlight into the dimly lit room. It was really rather poorly furnished, however. There was a blue sofa, which seemed strangely out of place, and had been placed along the wall in front of him. There was a small Mahogany end-table alongside it, which held an old oil lamp. At the far end of the room stood a little table and a couple of chairs underneath the windows. Then there was, of course, the chair in which Snape sat and a couple of bookshelves on either side of the fireplace.

There was really nothing too unusual about this room- other than the fact that it was strangely empty… and the plate of cheese that sat unattended in the centre of the room.

'What the…' Snape muttered to himself, staring at the plate of cheese.

'You ate too much cheese, Severus,' a smooth voice told him. 'You KNOW that cheese makes you go craz, I mean, sleep walk...'

Snape at first thought that he'd imagined the voice. There was clearly nobody else in the room, and he was obviously going mad- he had decided- as he had absolutely no idea where he was.

'No,' the mysterious voice said softly. 'You did not imagine me and you're not going crazy. I am Mister Hobnob, your door, sir.'

Snape turned around, fixing his gaze upon a large oak door across the room- opposite the sofa. 'My door…'

'Your door,' the voice replied.

'Of course…' Snape nodded. 'So… could you, if you are indeed my door, perhaps tell me where I am?'

A soft laughter filled the room and Snape was left wondering what he could have possibly said that was so very amusing. 'But sir,' the door chortled. 'I am sure you already know.'

'Oh _really_…'

'Of course, sir.'

Snape rolled his eyes and after deciding that it was simply no use sitting there, he got to his feet and stalked across the room to where the door was still chuckling.

'Did you just…'

'Yes. Yes I did,' the door assured him. 'Now… You are sleeeeeep walking! You're aware of that, aren't you?'

'I… I am not sleepwalking!' Snape said sharply, scowling at the unmoving oak door in front of him. But he was beginning to feel a little strange.

'Aren't you?'

'No…'

Snape's mind began to drift in a strange, dream-like way. He felt like he was floating up to the clouds…

Suddenly he snapped out of it.

'I'm not sleepwalking!' Snape muttered as he reached for the door handle.

'Oh I know,' the door said gravely, suddenly all the humour drained from his tone. 'I know…'

Snape shuddered a little when he turned the handle and walked through the, now silent, door. He soon realised that he had just walked into, what appeared to be, a moonlit supply cupboard. He was surrounded by at least four hundred bars of multi-coloured enchanted soap. All the scents mixed together were so strong that it made his nose sting.

'Well…'

Snape suddenly heard another voice mumble- a soft feminine voice. This time he realised… it was his cloak.

'Great to be here! Don't you think?' His cloak said.

'Er…'

'It's alright, Severus...' she murmured. 'Just tell me… how do you feel?'

'I'm… fine...' he replied, now beginning to feel extremely odd.

'Indeed…'

Snape felt like he was in some sort of trance. He reached for his wand, involuntarily and held it in front of him as a strange spell, of which he'd never heard of before, rolled of his tongue.

Blue sparks shot out from the end of his wand and one of the shelves began to disappear, a crooked little window taking its place. Snape opened the window that appeared to lead onto a long dark corridor and carefully climbed through.

Once out of the strange little supply cupboard, Snape began to feel a little better. He was now in the middle of the long dark corridor. It soon became apparent that this was no ordinary corridor, however. He looked up and saw horses which galloped energetically across the ceiling, their eyes sparkling dimly. The walls seemed to be morphing into shapes that he couldn't decipher and the floor seemed to move against his own movements.

'Ah…' Snape's cloak hissed all of a sudden, making him jump a little. 'I see a bit of lemon on that mirror. Now tell me, will you be sneaking it to the pencil tower tonight?'

'No... No of course not.'

Snape began stumbling down the long deserted corridor. Some of the walls he passed now seemed to morph into cat corpses and drop at his feet.

'How are you feeling now, Severus?' The cloak purred.

Snape didn't reply. He actually didn't know how he was feeling- until a sudden wave of nausea swept over him.

'Come now,' the cloak hissed. 'You must know how you feel!'

'Sick...' He replied, suddenly realising that he was, indeed, about to vomit. He began racing down the corridor in an attempt to escape this insantiy. But before he even made it to the nearest door, Snape found himself vomiting all over the corridor. But it was more like throwing up a cloud…

'Been eating cherry candles again, have we?' Snape's cloak said silkily.

Snape soon realised that he could no longer move- he was completely immobile.

The cloak chuckled darkly. 'Now, Severus, I did tell you not to eat that cheese last night...'

'No you did not!' Snape snapped.

'Oh no, I didn't, did I…'

'Professor?' A familiar voice called to him from the dark. 'Professor Snape! ...'

Snape's eyes suddenly snapped open.

'Severus!'

'Minerva?' Snape croaked.

'Have you been asleep all this time?' Professor Mcgonagall asked.

'I… think…' Snape replied, glaring at the cheese on his desk. 'I will not be eating cheese again for a long time…' He thought to himself vaguely.

'Severus, you… Well, you have… um…' Professor Mcgonagall started, but didn't finish.

Snape soon realised what she was on about. He'd been dribbling all over a pile of books on his desk. He quickly conjured a simple cleaning spell and in no time at all the books were back to their original condition.

'You know, Severus, I think you should just... have some more cheese!' Professor Mcgonagall said, flinging at bit of cheese at Snape.

Snape groaned.


End file.
